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October Musing from Rebecca Crichton: I’m Not Me Alone

I wrote a friend in an email that I hadn’t seen anybody for a few days and that I had found it hard to remember who I was. I felt a little embarrassed admitting that. I harbor a lifelong belief that I should be able to entertain myself and prioritize the value of work that I do all by myself. It’s the American Way after all.

We know that isn’t true. We are beginning to recognize the price we pay as a society, as well as individuals, for believing that we don’t need others.

I’ve referred to the Epidemic of Loneliness that is of concern to social scientists and should be a concern to all of us. Some of it has to do with societal norms. Some has to do with American mythology. Whatever the reason, the belief that we don’t need others and need to go it alone is not just wrong; it is dangerous.

We are wired to be relational. We cannot survive—and certainly not thrive—without the care, attention, reflection, modeling, and touch of others. Throughout our lives, we rely on family, teachers, friends, and mentors to educate, nurture, and accompany us.

One of my favorite books is A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amin, and Richard Lannon. Based on the concept of the tripartite brain (reptilian, limbic, and neo-cortex), our limbic system regulates our emotions. The authors write that we need each other to restore and repair the wounds sustained in our lives. We have the capacity to heal each other through direct eye contact, which resets the limbic system.

My own relationship with myself has improved over the years. However, if I am not in direct relationship with others, I’m not getting new information about how they inhabit their worlds. If I don’t see anyone for more than a day, I can feel diminished and confused about who I am. It is both the quantity and the quality of the interactions that matter.

 
Some people need less social interaction, but all of us need to be engaged with others. Sharing a smile with the cashier at the supermarket can be enough to remind us that we are not alone.
 

My work at NWCCA reinforces the importance of learning, connection, and community. The many events we share with you, the programs and presentations we offer, all provide opportunities for self-discovery and engagement.

I am delighted to share an exciting travel opportunity for my NWCCA community. I have enjoyed, learned from, and broadened my life by joining two Overseas Adventure Travel (OAT) trips in the past few years. Now, we have been invited to choose a trip with their sister company, Grand Circle Cruise Line, for our community. We will be traveling on a riverboat down the Danube. Click here to learn the complete details. 

As October’s essay reveals, this time of year calls me to reflection and readjustment. While I don’t make resolutions, I do project into the future about what I might do or pursue in this new season.

This month’s What I Learned essay, Ignore the Ageist Negativity, is by Dori Gillam, president of the NWCCA board. With her usual humor and intelligence, she shares her fierce determination not to accept ageist stereotypes.

May October offer new ideas and directions. Connect with others in ways that remind you who you are!
Rebeccahave neem 

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NWCCA’s Collaboration with Town Hall

Gifting Our Treasures — The Joy of Letting Go
Lynda Dowell with Rebecca Crichton

Monday, Nov. 10, 7:30 PM, The Medhi Reading Room, Town Hall Seattle

Most people have too much stuff and figuring out what to do with it can feel overwhelming. We know we need to do something with it all and might not know where to start. Join us for a conversation about how generosity can help you simplify your life and bring joy to others. This season of gratitude and generosity could be the right impetus for gifting your treasures to people who will appreciate them.

Join Lynda Dowell, professional realtor and downsizer, in a conversation with Rebecca Crichton about how our treasures might become treasures for others. They will discuss the necessary and uncomfortable topic of what to do with our stuff. We can reframe our relationship with the many things in our life to see them as gifts to those who will also love and value them. Let’s turn giving into living. 

Click here for more details and ticket info.