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October Musing from Rebecca Crichton:Accommodating

I often ask people how they think about the things they do regularly. Are they habits, preferences, rituals? What do we do daily that supports our lives in positive ways — and which ones don’t?

Our fascinating Town Hall event this month with Allison Fine, founder and director of the Center of Chronic Illness, spurred my thinking about how the concept of ‘chronic’ applies.

Having made a noble effort to find a positive application of the word and concept of chronic, I can report that the results are negative. Chronic conditions, which we usually think of in physical terms, are never welcome.
 
Those things that are chronic in our lives can also include habits of mind and behaviors that don’t serve us, although they might feel good at the time. Addictions could be seen as chronic, whether it is smoking, drinking, overeating, or behaviors related to our wired world; we know we might pay a price for how they affect our lives.
 
At one point in my study of grieving, I found several reframes of the concept of Acceptance — often described as the last phase of the grieving process. The suggested replacement was Accommodation. I like the word and what it represents. I also like its sister synonyms — retooling, reframing, assimilation, adaptation, adjustment.
 
Accommodating to something means an ongoing relationship with what is happening in our lives. We actively interact with daily demands, plans and realities.
 
People with chronic conditions can attest to the ways they must juggle to find ways to live with and manage their situations to create their best lives possible given their limitations.
 
I think about how travelers are reminded to “dress in layers.” It’s not a bad metaphor for how we conduct our lives. What needs to be added or removed for the greatest comfort and support?
 
October is my favorite month which I admit could be partly due to it being my birthday month. I love it for the way it moves me from the remnants of summer ease and lightness to adding more weight to my clothes, comfort in my cooking, and appreciation for the changing season.
 
This month’s essay, Opening Our Hearts with Forgiveness, explores my annual grappling with grudges and negative stories applied to relationships in my life. I know I am not alone in nursing hurts that may or may not have been deliberate. Usually they weren’t, but even if they were, my holding on to them only creates discomfort.
 
Fall is fully upon us along with the activities and events we share with you. They reflect the many opportunities we have to learn, experience, and connect with each other.
 
Happy Accommodating!
Rebecca

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NWCCA’s Collaboration with Town Hall

Here’s to the Future!
An Intergenerational Conversation about Aging with Erika Crichton and Rebecca Crichton
Monday, November 18, 7:30 PM, The Medhi Reading Room, Town Hall Seattle
1119 8th Avenue, Seattle
$10 – $35 sliding scale

Mother and daughter Rebecca and Erika Crichton discuss how Gen X and Boomer-aged people can learn more about one another by openly sharing perspectives on the joys and challenges of aging well in our modern world.

Click here for more details.

Food and Finality
Discussions facilitated by Rebecca Crichton around death and dying, grief and loss, discussions that honor and acknowledge the discomfort, judgments, confusion and other emotions that these topics can engender.
Rebecca creates and holds the space with the intention that everybody is included and feels safe.
Click here to learn more