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Compare that linguistic richness for an important part of a culture’s life to the paucity of words we have to describe Love. We use that single word for everything. The foods we eat. The entertainment we choose. The activities we do. The people we interact with.

Many years ago, I hosted a Valentine’s Day dinner for Women with Love in Their Lives and No Partners. It was fun to gather around good food and share the warmth and connection that women often generate together.

While there still remains the issue of who says the L word first in romantic pairings, there is also a recognition that the word applies to many of our relationships – families, friends, pets (see my essay), and experiences that enrich and touch us.

I was surprised and moved the first time my friend Dori hugged me and said, “I love you.” Another close friend often tells me she loves me. I come away reminded of the depth of my connections. I always reciprocate, validating and honoring the exchange. Learning to tell others that we love them opens an emotional channel. Love is both important and necessary, showing up in many ways.

It might feel risky to tell others you love them. Perhaps the response won’t elicit a similar statement, which can then feel like rejection. Nonetheless, if the expression is heartfelt with no expectation, you might be surprised at how the relationship can broaden and deepen.

Having spent so many years working in the death and dying field, including how people grieve after loss, at the top of the list of what people need to know when they die is that they are loved. They often regret not having told others that they loved them.

I am choosing to abandon the cynicism that often dismisses statements of love as superficial. I see how that stance is also protective, an intellectual armor to avoid feeling vulnerable.

How does it feel to tell someone you love them—whether family, friend, or partner? What is it like to receive those words from others?

Joel Kampf, our guest author for our What We Learned feature, emphasizes our human interdependence and how much he enjoys and appreciates his life now as he ages.

My August essay, Seeking Sentience, shares the new loves in my life and the differences they have made. Definitely an opportunity for daily moments of love.

Summer still offers many opportunities to learn, engage, and play. Wishing you time to rest, learn, and enjoy these golden days.
Rebecca